To all the BATmen and BATwomen out there, fear not


To all the BATmen and BATwomen out there: fear not the noisesome pestilence, vile words and evil thoughts of the ATIKUvibrators and OBIdients.

Let them continue to insult us, misrepresent us and vent their spleen because their time is short and that is all they have.

Whilst they are insulting, we are preparing.

Whilst they are scheming, we are working.

Whilst they are howling, we are planning.

Whilst they are barking, we are plotting.

When we kick off our campaign water will find its level.

We shall drown them with our irresistable voices, shatter them with our superior knowledge, disarm them with our unassailable wisdom, crush them with our wealth of experience and overwhelm them with our superior numbers.

We are BATmen and BATwomen: we operate silently but diligently.

We know what to do and when to do it.

We do not bother ourselves and neither can we be distracted by the foul plague and monstrous affliction or the noisy threats and puerile mockery of rats and cockroaches.

We cannot be distracted by the horrendous cacophony of vampires, scavengers, hyenas, jokers and court jesters.

We cannot be moved by the acts and boastful words of ill-bred and ill-mannered pubescents and buggery-addicted boy-lovers.

We are pure, we are holy, we are righteous, we are good, we are strong, we are of God and we represent His light and glory.

The future and destiny of Nigeria lies in our hands.

When it comes to the presidential election we shall defeat our adversaries handsomely and with a wide margin.

We shall eat them for breakfast and bury them for good. We are BATmen and BATwomen: we NEVER fail!

Femi Fani-Kayode
Femi Fani-Kayode
Former Minister of Culture and Tourism of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

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