Can you allow your mother to share the same bed with you and your partner?

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Privacy and closeness are useful things to be respected in relationships and homes, but what happens when one’s privacy is disregard by a loved ones?

Punch correspondant asks the public if it is okay to share a bed with their mother and partner .

Here are their responses

Ogunde Busayo

It will depend on why she wants to sleep over in my place.

It will depend on why she wants to sleep over at my place in the first instance, but I do not think it will be okay for my mother to sleep on the same bed with me and my partner. It is not acceptable, I am sure even most cultures will not allow such to happen. It is either I take my mother to a hotel to pass the night, or I pass the night in a hotel with my wife, but I will not give room for such. We need privacy and it would be disrespectful to indulge in intimacy while my mother is on the same bed with us. The same rules apply to my wife’s mother as well; if she comes over and needs to sleep on the bed, we will find a way around it but, I will not allow her to share a bed with her daughter and me.

Olamide Fajuyigbe

I don’t like people invading my space too much

That’s a big NO; there is no reason for my mom to sleep on the same bed with me and my spouse. Due to my personality, I don’t like people invading my space too much, that’s why I have plenty of rooms in my house; she has no reason whatsoever to come and sleep in my room, not to talk of sleeping in the same bed with me and my fiancé. As a man, you must always give room for respect in your own home, most especially for your wife and kids, that doesn’t mean I don’t love my mom or I hate her or something, my belief as a man is that the family you are building is more important than the family you came from, so it’s not just my mom, whoever it may be and irrespective of whatever relationship we have, once you are in my home, there are things you do and you don’t do.

Vincent Ngwankwe

My mother won’t request to sleep on the same bed as my wife and I

No, my mother cannot be in the same bed with me and my wife. She will not even request to sleep on the same bed with us. For me, it just does not make any sense as to why she would want to share a bed with us; if she came to visit and there was no space for a guest, then I would either lodge her in a hotel or find a way for her to get home, but she cannot share a bed space with my wife and me. No possible scenario will make my mother sleep on the same bed with me and my wife. It is a sacred space; it’s a private space for my wife and me, and it should be respected by both my mother and my wife’s mother.

Folorunso Ibukunoluwa

It is not possible

From the standpoint of the law, a marriage contracted under the Act is one between two consenting adults to the exclusion of every other person. From the biblical standpoint, a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one. These standpoints are a pointer to the fact that marriage is only meant to be between two persons, a third party will be an intruder. Having a mother-in-law share the same bed with a husband and wife, in my opinion, will be the highest level of intrusion imaginable and it is unheard of.There shouldn’t be any instance that should occasion such a thing as marriage is sacrosanct and sacred, just as the matrimonial bed itself is. The matrimonial bed is meant for the husband and wife to render conjugal rights to each other, thrash out matters that need to be discussed, and make plans as regards their family; it shouldn’t in any way be shared with a third party, not where both  the husband and wife are laid on the same.

Ocahyi Paul

A bed is a private place for husband and wife,

That’s a simple NO! My mother is not allowed at any point to share a bed with my wife and me. A bed that my wife and I share is for our private time and no one else will be allowed to join. It will depend on what happens and why she is in my place, but when it comes to the bedroom, it is a private place for a man and his wife, and having a third party sleep with a couple on their matrimonial bed is wrong. As much as I understand different strokes for different folks, I believe it is respectful to have my mum on the same bed with me and my wife. It will be inconvenient for my wife and she may not be comfortable with my mother in the same bed with us. I will have to find a solution to it; I will look for a more comfortable place for her to sleep or I will allow her on the bed, while I sleep somewhere else with my wife.

Omolola Pedro

My mother isn’t allowed to share a bed with my spouse and I for any reason

No, my mother is not allowed to share a bed with my spouse and me for any reason whatsoever. I do not think there will be any situation that will warrant or justify that my mother wants to share a bed space with my partner and me. The worst thing that can happen is that my spouse and I will either leave the bed for her or find her somewhere else to pass the night, but we will not all sleep on the same bed. However, this does not concern my mother alone, even my mother-in-law is not exempted from the rule if she visits; we will find a comfortable place for her to sleep.

Catherine Onimisi

I will allow my hubby to decide on where my mum will sleep

If we have only one room and a parlour and my mum comes for a visit, I’m very sure my husband won’t want to share the same bed with us; he can ask my mum to sleep inside the room with me, while he sleeps in the parlour. But I will say this, I don’t see anything wrong with my mum sharing the same bed with my spouse because we both came together as husband and wife; we have become one and my mother is his mother too and his mum is my mum too. I may not see it as anything, but my husband may not be comfortable with it. My honest opinion here is this, I’ll just allow my hubby to make his decision on where my mum will stay because he’s the head of the house and he knows what’s convenient for him and his household.

Abiola Edun

I love my personal space

It will take a lot of guts for my mother to say she wants to share a bed with my husband and me. Before I got married I had always been a lover of  my personal space and my mother understands and respects my opinion on how not to get on my nerves or cross the line. If my home is not conducive for a third party, my husband understands to excuse the bedroom for myself and mum, or my husband and I will sleep in the living room so my mum to feel comfortable in the room, or she will visit and go back to her house. Privacy in marriage should be highly considered and respected as well as boundaries, so as not to cause any disrespect whatsoever to my mother or my husband’s mother.

Philomena Patrick

The bed is a private space for couples

Where I come from, it’s not customary for a mother to share a bed with her daughter and son-in-law. While they can have a loving and respectful relationship, a bed is a private and intimate space for a husband and a wife, and having a third party in the person of my mother is not acceptable. I believe in maintaining and respecting boundaries to ensure the privacy and sanctity of my marital relationship.It’s important to me that my marriage has its own space and intimacy, and while I value my relationship with my mother, she respects my wishes for privacy in my home. My husband and I will cherish our time with her and ensure that she is comfortable during her visits to our house, but sharing a bed is not something that aligns with our boundaries and beliefs as a couple, it is not even cultural.

Olatubosun Oluwatoyin

My spouse will excuse my mother and I to sleep on the bed

It is weird for my mother to want to share the same bed with my spouse and me because it is kind of absurd. Instead of that happening, my spouse will excuse my mother and me to sleep on one bed, while he sleeps in the room of the other bedroom. There are enough rooms in my house to accommodate my mother, so I do not see any reason for my mother to want to share the same bed with my spouse and me. If my spouse is not there, then the situation is different. I trust my mother with my whole life and I will never think of anything happening. However, some situations are bizarre and uncalled for and I am sure that my mum will never agree to such a thing.”

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